I don't have very high expectations of my father. I realized that was pointless a long time ago. I've learned to only count on him financially (which don't get me wrong, I am grateful that i can count on him for at least that). So in theory he shouldn't really be able to let me down. But he did. And part of me can't even figure out why it's bothering me so much. I don't know why I expected him to actually show up to the funeral.
To back track a bit, my parents went to college together and this past week a good friend of theirs lost his mother, the funeral was yesterday. I went with my mother, having grown up with the family it was important for me to be there. Some of my parents' classmates were there. (And I must admit I'm jealous of the friendships that they formed in college because I don't know if I'll find that. In fact I don't think any of my high school friends have found that in college. I blame facebook.) They came to the funeral to support their friend. My father, however, said that he had "other plans" already. Now, I don't know what his plans were and frankly I don't care. He should have been there. He should have at least gone to the visiting hours. I mean the funeral home is in the very same city that he works, he could have stopped in on his way home. But no. He didn't attend the visiting hours or the funeral. I got to hear his classmates talk about their college days. I got to witness the friendship they still have. And you know, none of them really asked about my father. Apparently their expectations have lowered as well.
It shouldn't be possible to disappoint someone who already has low expectations of you, but apparently, it is.
